Everything You Can Actually Buy From SwoleAF Right Now
Hey Swole Fam,
A message came in a couple of weeks back asking whether we still just do the one pre-workout. It wasn’t a dig, it was a fair question, and it stuck with me all week. Because whose fault is that? Ours. We built this thing on one tub, sold a lot of it, went quiet for a stretch, and never did the boring work of telling anybody what else was sitting on the shelf.
For years now the mental picture people have of us has been that one tub. I understand why. It’s what we led with, it’s what got shared, it’s what people tagged us in at six in the morning in a car park. When something works you keep pointing at it, and then one day you look up and realise you’ve been pointing at the same thing for years while nine other things sat there quietly.
Ten things. You can buy ten things from us today. I’d bet most of you could name two, and I’d bet one of the two is the pre-workout.
So this post is the shelf. All ten of them, in order, nothing left out.
I want to be straight about how I’m writing it, because it’ll read oddly otherwise. I’m not selling you anything here. No pitch, no build-up, no paragraph about what any of it will do for you. Just the name, the form it comes in, and where it sits. If you want more than that, the product page and the label on the tub will tell you, and they’ll do it more precisely than I can from a keyboard at eleven at night.
I know that’s a strange way to write about your own products. Spending an afternoon on a list and saying nothing good about a single item on it isn’t how this is normally done. But I’d rather you knew what existed and went and looked at it properly than have me talk over the top of the label.
One thing worth knowing before the list, and it’s the reason I’m bothering with the form of each one. Powder or capsule matters more than people expect. A powder needs a shaker, water, and thirty seconds you might not have. A capsule goes in a bag and gets taken in a car park. Neither is better than the other, they just fit different days, and knowing which is which saves you buying something that ends up at the back of a cupboard.
Right. The shelf.
The pre-workouts
El Chapo. Pre-workout powder. There’s more than one option on the product page, so pick there.
Fyre AF. Powder as well, and there’s more than one option on that page too. One thing worth flagging, because it’ll save you a bit of hunting: the site files this one under fat loss and El Chapo under energy, so you won’t find the two of them sitting together.
Two of them, both powders, and I’m stopping there on purpose. Which one suits you isn’t something I can work out from where I’m sitting, and anything else I wrote here would be a guess dressed up as advice.
And two more filed under a goal
IMMORTAL AF. Capsules. Sits in the muscle building category on the site.
Ripped AF. Capsules. Sits in the fat loss category on the site.
Worth saying plainly about those two lines, and about Fyre AF up there: a category is where the website files a product. It’s a shelf label, not a forecast about your next eight weeks. Category names get read as promises all the time, and I’d rather point at the shelf and move on than let that happen here.
The powders that live next to your shaker
CREATINE MONO. Creatine monohydrate powder. That’s the entire description and I’ve got nothing to add to it.
AMINO AF BCAA + EAA. An amino acid powder. More than one option on the page.
My oldest has got into training this year and I’m proud as hell about it. It’s also made me notice how rarely I explain any of this in plain words rather than sales words. Twenty years of doing something and you forget how little of it looks obvious from the outside.
The daily stuff
ESSENTIAL AF. A daily multivitamin.
Organ Support. A daily capsule.
Two lines, yes, and I know how that looks after eight lines of the same. When these two do come up, it’s usually a question I’d rather you took to the label, or to somebody qualified, than to me. So the honest version is the short version. Name and form, and you can take it from there.
And two that don’t sit with the rest
Crystalized Egg Whites. Powdered egg whites.
The gym bag. A polyester duffel, and the only thing on this list you can’t put in a shaker lol. Small or large, black straps, and a name tag sewn inside that I somehow didn’t notice for months.
These last two ended up together because neither one belongs with the rest. One goes in a shaker and one carries the shaker. I nearly cut the bag from this post before deciding that would be daft, because you can buy it and this post is a list of things you can buy.
That’s the shelf
Ten. Written out like that it doesn’t look like a lot. Written out like that it’s also nine more than the one tub that message was about, so both things are true at once and I’ll take it.
One more thing while I’m here. If you’ve ordered from us before and you only ever reorder the same one thing, that’s completely fine and I’m not about to talk you out of a routine that works. Nothing in this post is a nudge to change it. This is for the people who genuinely didn’t know there was anything else to reorder.
Now, if you’ve read all the way down here and you’re thinking you still have no idea which of those is for you, that’s an entirely reasonable place to land, because I just spent a thousand words deliberately declining to tell you.
So do this instead. Open the two or three that sound closest to what you’re doing and read the label and the FAQ on each product page. That’ll get you further than anything I’d type here, because it’s the actual product in front of you instead of me guessing at your week.
And if you’re still stuck after that, write to [email protected] and say what your training looks like at the minute. How many days you’re in, what you’re working towards, what you’ve tried before and hated. It’s a real inbox and it gets read. Sometimes the honest answer is that none of what we make fits what you’re doing, and that’s a fine answer too. Better that than buying something that gets used twice and then sits in a cupboard making you feel guilty every time you open the door.
The Swole Fam started at home before it meant any of you. Lana, the two kids, me. Glad you’re here.
Stay Swole,
Justin
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.